The Guy-Girl Game (Alliterations Are Awesome)

Ya know what's scary? The way high school and college kids are going at the opposite sexes. They date, they hold hands, they hug, they cuddle, they kiss and some go even farther. This trend is generally accepted by western society as healthy adolescent behaviour! I am frightened because I am plop in the middle of this age group and I'm surrounded by the above activities because of my work with high school kids.

Before I give my beef let me explain what I have no problem with. Hugging is wonderful! I hug to greet girls and guys for that matter. Though a high five or a hand shake is more appropriate for some of the circles I travel in. I do not believe dating is inherently evil either and I do not frown on people who do date.

My problem with this whole "game" as I call it is that these ignorant kids go way too far! They do stuff with and to each other that my parents don't even do in public and they have a pretty healthy marriage. The snogging and hand holding and groping and such! It ain't right! They are in these "relationships" for fun or to find that "special someone", that "soul mate". To this I raise my eyebrows! You're telling me that you french someone and pat some body's hind quarters in order to have fun and to find your "soul mate". This is dangerous!

I once heard a wonderful summary of why this foreplay is extremely unwise. "Foreplay is the on-ramp for the highway of sex. So if you're not getting on the highway then what are doing on the on-ramp?" So either these kids are dallying on the on-ramp or they actually intend to have sex (which is clearly sinful, see 1 Corinthians 7:2 and Hebrews 13:4).

1 Corinthians has a very interesting passage on this matter:


"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

Our bodies belong to God! This sexually immoral foreplay is sin against our own bodies and against God. But now Paul goes on to clarify it all:


"Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: 'It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.' But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Corinthians 7:1-4)

It all becomes clear! Foreplay and sex are reserved for marriage! Our bodies belong to God and, when we are married, to our spouse. So dating is great as long as there is no sexual immorality!

Daters and BF's and GF's should also be careful of what they talk about and rely on each other for. Before we are married, big issues in our lives should be discussed with parents or pastors or some authority in our life long before our potential spouses. Becoming emotionally dependent on someone who is not wise and experienced is another form of foreplay. Or at least it could certainly lead to some cuddling which leads to some other stuff (haven't you ever watched a movie)!

Many of these high school kids and university students ask me in shock, when they find out I've never dated or even kissed a girl,"Why not!?" My answer is this,"Because I would only date to look for a wife and since I am far from being ready to get married I shall not date, yet. Until then I shall gather candidates from amongst my female friends." For me, it is not about fun or a soul mate, it's about finding a suitable partner with whom I can best picture Christ's relationship with the church. For that is marriage! (Ephesians 5:22-27)

If you are a non-Christian reading this then it will probably not make sense to you and everything I've said really won't apply to you since your goal is not to honour God. But please feel free to contact me through Facebook or on my e-mail to inquire about anything you want to know concerning Christianity.

Modern society is wrong! So ladies and gents, stop looking for handsome guys or pretty girls to mess around with. Gents, look for a young lady who loves God more than she loves you. Ladies, look for a young man who loves God more than he loves you. Because if God is the main focus of their love, then they'll have more love for you than you can find in any other girl!

Victorious Struggle

I was at a Men's Meeting for church the other day and we watched a sermon by Darrin Patrick. In his talk he spoke of another conference which he attended. At this conference John Piper was asked when he doubts God. His response was,"when my sanctification is so slow it seems like I'm not growing in Christ at all." Darrin Patrick went on to explain that this is Christianity - a struggle.

I am always falling! I keep on doing what I know I shouldn't, what I don't want to do! Sometimes the fact that I struggle with sin so much makes me doubt my Christianity. I get myself into a state of mind where I feel like God doesn't exist or He didn't save me. The apostle Paul had a very similar struggle, but the way he uses it in his letter to the Romans is striking!

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

"So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:15-24)

So Paul cries out with us,"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" For that is how we feel! We're trapped in bodies of death. But Paul doesn't leave us in despair! He goes on:

"Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Romans 7:25 - 8:2)

We are set free from our sinful flesh! But where do we go from here? Paul goes on to speak of having our minds focused on the Spirit rather than our flesh. For a mind set to flesh cannot please God (Romans 8:5-8). We must focus on God and what He has done for us rather than our shortcomings! We must be aware of our shortcomings, yes, but our focus must be on God Who has sent His Son to set us free from sin and death (our shortcomings).

So when we struggle with sin, we do not struggle in vain because Christ has conquered sin and death and when we one day go to be with Him there will be no more struggle. The fight is not in vain! In fact, the struggle is proof of our Christianity! The very fact that we want to please God by overcoming sin demonstrates our Christianity. What's more, it is proof of our victory in Christ. The battle is won and it belongs to the Lord!